How to Use Overthinking to Your Advantage

How introverts and HSPs can make overthinking work for them rather than against them |

Overthinking is something that introverts and HSPs are really good at. It’s one of our specialties. Give us any situation and we can go crazy overanalyzing it and thinking about it from all possible angles. Telling us to stop thinking so much would be like trying to tell us to stop breathing. It’s just what we do.

Having a tendency to overthink things is great if you’re in a creative writing class and you have to come up with possible scenarios for what might happen to a character in a story. But . . . it’s not always so great when it comes to real life.

Unfortunately, about 99% of the time our overthinking tends to go in a negative direction. We overanalyze all of the “what ifs?” or we read too closely into someone’s tone of voice or expression and worry that they might be upset with us.Continue Reading

Do Introverts Lack Initiative?

RQ do introverts lack iniatiative


Have you ever felt the pressure to take more initiative? Maybe evaluations you’ve received at school or at work have given you good marks in the “works well independently” category but said that you need improvement in the “takes initiative” category. Or maybe you just feel slow to act compared to other people who always seem to jump right into action and take advantage of the principle of “the early bird gets the worm.”

Whatever the cause, a lot of us introverts have the sinking feeling that we’re not taking initiative enough, and we often find ourselves feeling pressured to take action before other people call us out for being too slow or for not making the first move.

The big question, though, is whether or not we introverts really lack initiative or whether it just seems like we do because of our preference to think first before acting.Continue Reading

3 Tips to Survive Group Conversations

Three tips for how introverts can survive group conversations |

Group conversations. Do those two words make you feel tense? Do you feel your stomach getting a little tighter and your pulse rising a bit? If you do, you’re like a lot of introverted people!

While we enjoy getting to know other people and connecting with them, big group conversations aren’t really our thing. A lot depends of course on the size of the group, how well we know the people in the group, and even how much energy we have on a particular day (the more drained we are the harder group conversations will be.) In general, though, many introverts prefer spending time with a couple of close friends or maybe a small group at a dinner party or something like that.

Group conversations are unavoidable, though, and we all end up being part of them at one time or another. These are just a few things that I’ve found have been helpful for making group conversations a little bit easier.Continue Reading

Are You Taking Advantage of this HSP Benefit?

Are you taking advantage of this benefit of being a Highly Sensitive Person? |


“It is both a blessing and a curse to feel things so very deeply.” ~ Annonymous

This quotation is one that couldn’t be more true for those of us who identify with being Highly Sensitive People. We feel things deeply. And sometimes that’s the best thing in the world . . . and sometimes we’d rather not feel anything at all.

A lot of the time, it’s so easy for us to be overwhelmed by the “curse” aspect of feeling things deeply that we completely forget about the blessing that comes along with that. We forget that being sensitive can have some incredibly good benefits too.Continue Reading

10 Confusing Contradictions About Introverts

10 Confusing Contradictions about Introverts |

Whether we want to admit it or not, we introverts can be pretty confusing people. And it isn’t just extroverts that we confuse either. We confuse ourselves just as much as anyone else.

Part of the reason why our introverted personalities can be so confusing is the fact that we’re often misunderstood since we don’t fit the extroverted ideal, but another part of the reason for this confusion is the fact that we are full of contradictions. We contradict ourselves all the time, even when we don’t realize we’re doing it. (I’m starting to confuse myself just trying to write these down! They made so much more sense in my mind . . .)

Everyone is different, of course, and these might not all apply to every introvert out there, but, in general, these are some of the most common contradictions that can make our introverted personalities so confusing at times.Continue Reading

10 Things Not to Say to a Quiet Child

10 things NOT to say to a quiet child (or adult!) and ideas for what to say instead |


“You’re very quiet.”

“Cat got your tongue?”

“You can talk to me, you know. I won’t bite.”

“Don’t you want to play with all the other kids?”

“Someday you’ll come out of your shell.”

“You’re very shy.”

“You should smile more.”

“You’re so serious. Don’t you want to have fun?”

“Are you trying to hide in the corner?”

“You’re so quiet I forgot you were even there!”

Continue Reading

How to Use Technology Without Feeling Overwhelmed (For Introverts and HSPs)

How to use technology without feeling overwhelmed: Tips for introverts and highly sensitive people |

In my last post, I talked about the fact that a lot of what we think of as relaxing (watching TV, browsing pinterest, checking facebook, etc) isn’t really as relaxing as we think it is. Since most of us use computers, smartphone, tablets, and TVs every day, and since technology is an inevitable part of our modern world, it’s important for introverts and highly sensitive people to learn how to use these devices in a way that won’t leave us feeling overwhelmed.

While it’s important for extroverts and non-highly sensitive people to manage their technology use wisely, too, it’s especially important for introverts and highly sensitive people because we are more easily affected by subtler forms of stimulation and because we reach the point of overwhelm much sooner.

These are some of my favorite ways to use technology without feeling overwhelmed, and, even though each of these are just small changes, they can make a big difference in the way that technology use affects us.Continue Reading

Are You Really Relaxing as Much as You Think You Are?

RQ are you relaxing


Relaxation is a pretty big deal for introverts and highly sensitive people. We need our downtime and our quiet times to recharge our energy. Especially on busy days or times when we’ve reached our threshold for overstimulation overload, we really need some time to rest and relax.

The problem is, though, that a lot of the time we think we’re relaxing when we really aren’t.Continue Reading

How to Tell If You’re A Highly Sensitive Person

How to tell if you're a highly sensitive person (HSP) |

Sometimes it can be a little bit confusing deciding whether you’re actually a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) or not. Taking the free HSP self-test, is the first step, of course, but even if you said “yes” to many of the statements, you might start reading down the list and thinking, “But doesn’t everybody feel that way?”

It’s true that anybody can feel overwhelmed by loud noises or crowds, or feel nervous and shaky performing in front of others, or feel annoyed if they have to do too many things at once. (And non-highly sensitive people aren’t insensitive either. Non-HSPs can still be sensitive in the sense of being able to be sensitive to the needs and feeling of others even if they aren’t as sensitive in the sense of being overstimulated easily.) Continue Reading

Three Ways to Know You Are An Introvert

Three ways to know you're an introvert |

With all of the misconceptions about introverts, it can be a little bit confusing sometimes to figure out if you really are an introvert or not. And, especially if you’ve heard a lot of negative myths associated with introverts and have tried to behave in a more extroverted way in order to fit in with “normal” people, you might think you’re an extrovert when you’re really an introvert.

Not every introvert is exactly the same. We all have our own unique personalities, and there are varying degrees of introversion, too. Nobody is 100% introverted or 100% extroverted either. In general, though, these three questions can help you decide if you fall into the introvert category or the extrovert one.Continue Reading